A loving couple, a happy marriage – however around 7 years down the line, love and happiness seem light years away.
First the play, then the famous Marilyn Monroe starrer – the 7-Year
Itch is also a dilemma some couples have to deal with in their married
lives. This phase is a very trying time, which could either make or mar a
relationship. We bring you 6 tips to bring things back on track.
Little Acts of Love
Couples tend to take each other for granted after a period of time,
which is unhealthy for the marriage. Everyday routine becomes a monotony
that hangs heavy on your heart – with no respite in sight. Your woman
needs to know that you still find her attractive
– go the mile. The tip to deal with 7 Year Itch is simple gestures like
gifting flowers, giving little surprises or complimenting her can work
wonders.
Mending the Communication Gap
It is easy to get so mired in office-work, house-work, children and
other familial issues as to not have time to talk properly with each
other. It is crucial to take some time out daily and converse with each
other – about what happened during the day, each other’s feelings and
problems. Give yourselves both at least 20 minutes in the day (or night)
when you can talk to each other. Phone conversations don’t count!
Date Night
And hence the movie. Without quality time spent with each other, a
marriage may very well resemble a business arrangement. Keep one evening
free to do something interesting with your girl – go out for dinner or
catch a movie. Or maybe go crazy and take her boating or skiing. Such
valuable moments solidify the marriage where partners can connect with
each other without distractions like chores or business calls.
Emotional Support
One of the most common reasons for detachment with one’s spouse
is that the other person does not understand one. You may not be able
to help your woman deal with her obnoxious business clients, or she with
your appraisal pressures – in fact you might not even comprehend what
her big deal is all about. However it is vital that communication lines
are open and you can give each other mental and emotional support by
lending a willing ear. Following this tip will help you in dealing with 7
Year Itch.
Sexual Satisfaction
Another very common problem – this might be something you would not
even want to discuss with your besties always. As a marriage matures and
other pragmatic issues outweigh the passion, the sexual radar of a
couple may not function on the same frequency anymore. However, catering
to each other’s needs, even if one is not feeling romantic oneself, can
help strengthen the marriage. Not particularly aroused but she wants
it? Have a quickie. You want it but she’s not interested – talk it out.
Counseling
This is the last resort for a couple whose relationship seems like it is doomed.
When all amateur moves have failed, it may be advisable for you to
visit a marriage counselor. Although embarrassing for the uninitiated
and hurtful to those who are too proud to admit to anyone else that
there is trouble in paradise, such counseling is actually very helpful
to couples willing to make their relationship work. The presence of a
third party acts as a catalyst to diffuse the problems in one’s
marriage, and you come to look at it from each other’s points of view.
A study conducted on married people has actually shown that a decrease
in marital quality happens first at around 4 years after the marriage,
and a second dip towards the 7th year. And couples with children faced
the steepest decline. Around this time, when indifference towards one’s
spouse sets it, whether the reasons are sexual dissatisfaction or
emotional disconnection, one may fall prey to the temptation of an
extramarital affair – or at least thoughts of engaging in such a
liaison.
By Priyankee Saikia
