Ever since I can remember, I’ve been an empath — somebody who is able to feel the emotions of others.
Not only was I unable to distinguish between my own feelings from the experiences of others, but I never felt comfortable in my own skin until everyone else around me felt more at ease in their bodies. It was as though my own happiness was constantly put on hold.
When energetic sensitivity and intuitive abilities surface faster than the maturity of a person, these gifts are often expressed as a sense of inferiority.
" Empathy can feel painful and overwhelming until you learn how to transform it into a skill set. "
For a long time, I had the innocent misunderstanding that the emotions I sensed in other people were actually their opinions of me. This led me to spend the majority of my childhood trying to cheer everyone up.
For so many years, I thought changing how someone felt would allow them to "like" me — even though I was actually well-liked already. “Are you mad at me?” became my go-to question.
Just like many energetically sensitive children, I spent the first phase of my life caught in a cycle of vibrational codependency. The frenetic energy of other children was often too much for me to handle, and I was intimidated by how roughly they played. My kind of fun was much more passive — I loved playing by myself, using my imagination, and interacting with adults.
Any time adults spoke about the deeper aspects of life, I felt the energy in the room shift into a more expansive state. I didn’t know what was happening, but I liked how it felt. Of course, many years later, I realized I had been intuitively picking up layers of emotion in their energy.
I share this with you because perhaps you, too, are empathic and on a similar journey. It can be painful, overwhelming, and confusing to work your way through a world in which you're inundated with emotional weight and distracted by the patterns that other people are resolving within themselves.
Here are four tips to help you navigate your journey without dwelling on other people's emotional debris. In practicing them in my own life, I've found how to step to the forefront of a healing journey:
1. Transform your empathy into a masterfully honed intuitive skill set.
For the energetically sensitive soul, looking within is not a matter of becoming more aware but of learning how to be open and accepting of how aware you already are.
Your natural-born empathy can feel painful and overwhelming until you learn how to transform it into a skill set. A modern-day spiritual journey can take you from “fearing it all” to “feeling it all.”
Once you allow feelings to be felt on a more intimate level, the next step is learning to relax your body. Notice what happens when you allow your attention to rest in the center of any feeling by slowly breathing into it.
" By loving whatever emotions arise, the pitfalls of energetic sensitivity begin to disappear. "
2. Whatever arises, love that.
These four words reveal an open heart as your only source of refuge. By learning how to love what arises, you can replace your tendency to resist negative feelings with a willingness to embrace the ever-changing circumstances of life.
Through loving what arises, you'll start to realize that your daily practice of giving deeper eye contact, smiling to those who pass by, and turning anything that comes your way into a gift reveals the highest form of heart-centered joy. You'll realize that all the wisdom you’ve collected in the privacy of your own journey is meant to be demonstrated as contributions for all.
So, the "whatever arises, love that" teaching is where we take and we heal all the fractures and separations that seem to divide the mind from the heart. When your heart is open, you are able to notice that anything you are feeling is part of a healing taking place within you.
3. Bring forth a heart-centered consciousness.
The willingness to allow your choices to come from a place of love no matter the outcomes at hand is what I call the heart of surrender. Instead of trying to control the things you can’t seem to change, you redefine the way you relate to the world.
The heart of surrender is accessed by asking a bold series of questions: What happens if I stop fighting the things that seem to fight with me? What happens if instead of trying to change the behaviors of others, I become the first one to stop fighting, even if others still fight with me?
4. Welcome transformation.
By loving whatever emotions arise, the pitfalls of energetic sensitivity begin to disappear. As you become an anchor of heart-centered consciousness, seeds of transformation are planted in every corner of existence. Whether you are here to resolve a healing crisis, discover true joy and fulfillment, or make peace with the past, it is now time to shine as never before and to see how far your wings are destined to spread.
By Matt Kahn | Mind Body Green
