By Kathryn McLamb, Pop Sugar
Not too long ago, my husband and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary. While I still haven't wrapped my head around the fact it's been over 1,095 days since we tied the knot on that Summer afternoon in late June, there is no doubt these last few years have been the best of my life. Best; yes. Easiest? Not so much.
Just as people warned us, marriage is hard. That's just a plain ole
fact. Even after just three years, we've certainly had our fair share of
high highs and low lows. Because, well, just like any other
relationship, ours is anything but perfect. Yet it has been the
challenges we've overcome together that has molded us into the people we
are today.
Even in this short amount of time, being married has taught me quite a lot
about life, love, and simply living. And while I am far from serving as
any kind of relationship expert, below are three lessons I've learned
since saying "I do."
1. A loving partnership comes down to three things: support, sacrifice, and gratitude.
When you commit your life to someone and ultimately become one unit,
there is no doubt that a lot of merging will take place. Let's see, you
and your partner will most likely merge your families, friends, hopes,
and even dreams. Now, is it just me or is that a LOT of merging? And
sometimes, all of this integration can be a bit hard to balance. But
that's where the power of partnership steps in.
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nonetheless — to be successful, I have found that support must be the
highest priority. Whether it's a major decision, such as a career
change, or simply deciding how you're going to break up time over the
holidays with each other's family since you live 3,000 miles away,
personal sacrifices will have to be made, and having the support of one
another will serve as the strongest anchor in a relationship.
I am extremely fortunate to call one of the most selfless people I
know my husband. When I think back on the sacrifices Derek has made for
me, my heart swells with gratitude. Throughout the last few years, he
has pressed pause on so many of his own dreams, including his career
path, so I can pursue my own creative ambitions. He continues to push
and support me in the direction of my aspirations, and for that reason, I
will forever be grateful.
See, the truth I've uncovered about marital bliss is the "happily
ever after" part isn't a given . . . it's a gift. One that must be
nurtured, tenderly cared for, and constantly looked after. And by
consistently supporting, sacrificing, and being grateful for one
another, happiness will continue to blossom.
2. Cherish each and every chapter.
For as long as I can remember, I had a fickle relationship with time.
While I tried my hardest to stay present in the moment, it seemed I was
always in countdown mode, thinking about what was next. Thankfully,
marriage has brought forth much-needed clarity to the essence of time.
As we all know, marriage usually exists in chapters. From honeymoon
and prebaby to homeowner and so on, you get the idea. Being married has
helped me slow down and truly appreciate each chapter in life's journey.
While Derek and I are still in the prebaby stage, these last three
years have opened my eyes to how fast time passes and how quickly these
chapters come and go.
A perfect example is when I look around at my family. Last year, my parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary, and before my grandfather passed away, he and my grandmother shared 62 years of marriage together. Wow — 62 years!
I can't help but get spine-crawling chills when I reminisce with these
loved ones on the treasured times they spent together, because I realize
the lightning-bolt speed of life. Just as in the wise words of author
and speaker Gretchen Rubin, "the days are long, but the years are
short."
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Marriage has shifted my perspective of time, making me cling onto and
cherish our current chapter. I can only hope we are fortunate enough to
share a lifelong love filled with oh-so-many beautiful chapters as my
grandparents did.
3. Never, ever stop the adventure.
The monotonous daily routines, the jam-packed schedules, the
mile-long to-do lists, before you know it, you and your partner can get
swept under a wave of redundancy. There's no fault to blame; life just
happens. And as cozy — and sometimes needed — as those nights of
streaming Netflix from your laptop while chowing down on pizza can be,
it doesn't take too long before they can become a bit predictable. But
do you want to know the one antidote I've found for even the thickest
layers of boredom?
When you think about it, marriage is woven by everyday moments. And
adventure is the breath of fresh air that's constantly needed in a
relationship. It's the thrill and excitement that saves you both from
getting stuck in the messy glue of a rut. Because with adventure comes
newness. You learn. You discover. And of course, you make new memories,
together. Sharing an adventure not only strengthens your bond, but it
also allows you to grow as a couple and as individuals.
While we tend to associate adventure with travel, the truth is it can
stem from anything outside the ordinary. Whether it's cooking new
cuisines, wandering new streets, or hiking new trails, you don't need to
fork over a huge chunk of money to have an adventure — all you need are
a little time, creativity, and an open mind.
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