By Kimmy Foskett, Elite Daily
When I have genuinely liked (loved-but-couldn't-admit-it-because-I'm-emotionally-stunted) men in my almost-29 years, it's taken me on average two whole years to get over them. Not great — two years is enough time to get an M.B.A. Starting with my eighth grade lab partner who got back together with his girlfriend three days after he gave me my very first smooch, I've never had the fortuitous timing of being the first to move on after a break up. It takes time to get over someone, and your ex might have zero chill like me, so what are the signs he's not over you?
[post_ads]First off, it truly depends on what you mean by “not over you.” I'm a firm believer that there are some people whom you simply never “get over,” per se. These people are the exes that you do not want to get back together with, but whose Instagram posts you'll never be able to look at because that engagement photo will make you a little bit sad — even if you have a rock on your own finger. Feelings are messy.
On the other hand, an ex might show signs of wanting to be in your life because they are truly over you, but miss knowing you. You used to sleep next to each other nightly, put your private parts together, and share all of your hopes and dreams for five cheesy years — it's pretty weird if you both go radio silent for the rest of eternity.
So how can you tell if your ex is actually unable to get over you? Here are nine obvious signs that they Jackson 5-style want you back:
They Drunk Text You Emojis
They Aren't Dating Anyone
If you've been broken up for a bit and it doesn't seem like your ex has moved on with another person, they may not be over you. Or, they're just having really bad luck on Bumble.
They Send You Flowers
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They Want To Keep In Touch Regularly
They Unfollow You On Social Media
Facebook friendship is forever, but seeing Instagrams of an ex's adorable ski trip is rough.
They Say Something Mean About Your New Person
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They Slide Into Your DMs With Inside Jokes
They Watch The Sh*t Out Of Your Social Media
They Ask For You Back
The feeling of not being over someone and the feeling of wanting someone back are similar in that they suck, but different in that they don't always go hand in hand. Finding out someone from your past moved in with a girlfriend can sting, but doesn't mean that you want them back. In fact, if said ex broke up with their live-in, you might go on one date with them and realize the sparks are long gone, and you were just clinging on to the past.
If an ex doesn't make it clear to you (in a mature way) that they want you back in their life, they don't really deserve you. They might watch your Snap stories, send you silly messages, and drunk text you, but if they're not saying, “Hey, be mine?” then you can move on to the next one. It sucks, but it's the truth. Sometimes exes just like to keep you generally around for their own egos. You don't have time for that. When a person wants to be with you, they will let you know.
