It’s natural to worry when you’re in a relationship. After all, it’s
normal to feel a bit anxious about how things are going, or if things
are moving too fast, or too slow or if things seem to be going in the
wrong direction. On the flip side, what’s not normal is when you find
yourself constantly and relentlessly worrying about your relationship.
It’s not healthy for you, your partner or your relationship to be in a
continuous state of panic. So why is worrying so worrisome? And what can
you do to stop it?
What’s the problem with worrying?
If you find yourself constantly worrying, you’re doing a number on your
health and wellbeing. When you worry, your body goes into classic “fight or flight” mode in order to deal with whatever’s stressing you out.
But
it goes even further, as you can literally make yourself worried sick.
When the stress hormones get released in your body, you can experience
muscle pain and tension, elevated heart rate, changes in your breathing,
headaches, perspiration, dizziness and even digestive and memory problems, to name a few.
Not a great way to live your life.
What does worrying do to your relationship? Not
surprisingly, the changes that occur in your body when you’re in a
state of worrying manifest themselves into changes in your mood and
behavior. You may find yourself snapping at your partner, feeling angry,
irritable and upset. And with these kinds of mood swings, you’re bound to strike out when it comes to your relationship.
Constantly
worrying becomes a major relationship distraction, detraction and
dominant force that can take over everything. If you’re constantly
worrying about every minor detail, it can chisel away little by little
at the trust that’s the backbone of your relationship.
What can you do to manage the worrying?
In order to put an end to this constant state of worrying, it’s
important to figure out exactly what you’re worrying about. And that
means making an actual list of what’s causing you this much stress and
anxiety. Write it down. Get it all out. Once you can literally see
what’s bothering you, you can begin to take steps to deal with each
issue point by point.
What worrisome issues do you have the power to change?
When reviewing your list, it’s important to realize that some causes of
your worrying can be completely nullified. For example, if your
boyfriend travels for business,
and you find yourself constantly worrying that your relationship will
turn into “out of sight, out of mind” when he’s out of town, take action
to manage this stress by developing a plan with your partner.
Decide
together that he’ll always text you when he lands, or agree that he'll
send you pictures from the hotel or even a goodnight emoticon when he
gets into bed, no matter the time difference. These are methods that you
can put in place today to lessen the worrying that you’re experiencing.
Besides, you should take solace in the fact that “absence can make the
heart grow fonder,” too.
Additionally, in order to stop your constant worrying, it’s important to have faith in your partner, your relationship and yourself.
Stop fixating on “what if” and focus on “what is.” Don’t let your own
insecurities be the downfall of your relationship by living in a
constant state of panic. Being a nervous wreck is only going to wreck
your relationship.
What worrisome issues cannot be changed?
It’s important to keep in mind that there will also be causes on your
list that you can’t fix. Perhaps you’re anxious about the seriousness of
your relationship. Or maybe you get nervous every time your partner
texts a friend of the opposite sex.
If
the types of concerns that are causing you to worry are ones that
you’re going to have to learn to live with, the best course of action is
to communicate with your partner and discuss what’s bothering you. By
being honest, you and your partner can tackle these concerns head on,
and you can begin to move forward and take charge of your feelings once
their direct cause is out in the open.
By expressing what’s
worrying you, you’re actually increasing the trust between the two of
you, and you can start managing your worrying so that it doesn’t control
your life. If you let the worrying keep building up inside of you
without ever voicing your concerns to your partner, then you’ll really
have something to worry about.
source: about.com
