When you’ve made the decision to live with your significant other,
there are things to address so that you don’t end up at separate
addresses. Whether he’s moving
into your place, you’re moving into his or you’re both looking for a
new spot to call your own, there are tips to keep in mind in order to
make living together a huge success and not a hot mess.
Communicate.
It’s true that communication is always an important part of a
relationship, but it’s especially crucial when you’re living together.
You’ll likely be spending more time with each other than ever before and
perhaps seeing a different side of your partner that you may not have
been familiar with when you lived apart.
New conflicts and
disagreements are bound to arise when you’re living under one roof, and
that’s why it’s particularly important to be able to openly and honestly
talk with your girlfriend or boyfriend about whatever’s on your mind,
whether it’s easy or not. Discussions about paying for groceries, rent
checks and even whose Netflix account you’re going to use need to be
held so that you and your partner are on the same page now that you’re
at the same address.
It’s also important to nail down your expectations of one another
as well as your expectations about where the relationship is heading.
If you see living together as the next step toward an engagement in six
months, but your boyfriend or girlfriend views it as something that
could continue indefinitely, you’re heading for problems. The same
applies to smaller issues as well, whether it’s splitting up the chores
or splitting the last piece of leftover pizza. It may seem like splitting hairs, but the conversations are necessary in order to prevent splitting up.
Compromise. When you and your partner are living together, you need to remember that you’re now sharing the same space, and like any toddler
can tell you, sharing isn’t always easy. You might be used to long
showers in the morning, a disorganized closet and only doing your
laundry after wearing the very last pair of underwear that you own. But
when you’re living with your mate, you have to be respectful of his or
her wants and needs which may differ from yours.
While dirty
dishes left in the sink, a bathroom counter strewn with makeup bottles
and a wastebasket so full that one more item will send trash falling
like a game of Jenga might not bother you, they may be unnerving to your
partner. Do you love that Van Halen poster in the living room? Because she can’t stand it. Do you drink soy milk right out of the carton? It grosses him out.
In
order to create a living environment where you both can flourish, you
have to accept the fact that you’ll need to make sacrifices and
adjustments. And luckily, since you’re not a toddler, you can handle
these changes without a breakdown or a breakup.
Collaborate.
Now that you’re living with your partner, you may find yourself wanting
to stay in and spend all of your time with your special someone. Or on
the flip side, you may find yourself struggling to make adjustments to
your normal routine now that you and your partner have one place. In
order to find the right balance between spending time together as well
as spending time apart, you have to spend some time collaborating with
your partner to come up with an action plan.
It may take some
getting used to, but both you and your partner should work together to
designate time for each other as well as time for the other people and
activities in your life. In fact, having some time apart from your
soulmate and roommate will actually benefit your relationship in
general.
Is there a pick-up basketball game with the guys on Sunday afternoon? Go for it. Want to sign up for a morning spinning class
with your all-time favorite instructor? Absolutely. Work out the
details with your partner so you can still make time for the people,
passions and pastimes that keep you happy and healthy—it’s actually
what'll keep your relationship healthy and happy as well.
source: about.com
