Pat Benetar famously compared love to a battlefield -- but in many
ways that’s not true: it isn’t healthy to approach love with every one
of your weaknesses shielded by armor, and a determination to "win at all costs."
However, like battle, when love is over, it’s over
– and it usually leaves casualties in its wake. Because of this, we
tend to avoid recognizing when a relationship is no longer functional,
dragging on well beyond the point that's healthy or enjoyable for either
partner. Instead, learn to recognize the following signs that a
relationship simply isn't working, and move on before you waste too much
time:
1. Your Significant Other Tells You It’s Over
This
might seem obvious, but if your significant other tells you that "it's
over," chances are – it's over. Most of the time, when one person feels
the relationship isn’t working, it isn’t working for either partner –
one just doesn’t know it yet. Don’t kid yourself into thinking he or she
will "come around." The uncomfortable truth is that he or she probably
won’t.
2. You Have Irreconcilable Differences
Perhaps you’ve tried and tried to date someone of another religion.
Often, with enough love and patience, an interfaith relationship can
work out just fine. But if your love interest shows exhibits no ability
to see things from your point of view, compromise on the upbringing of
children, or is just plain put off by your beliefs, it’s probably over.
3. Trust Has Been Broken
If
your significant other has broken your trust more than once, he or she
isn't going to become dependable overnight. For instance, after sharing passwords with
your partner, perhaps he or she abused that privilege, sharing or
accessing information that you consider private. Or, if your boyfriend
or girlfriend has already lied to you about something significant, he or
she can't blame you for worrying that it'll happen again. The damage
might be irreparable.
4. Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend Cheats
On
that same note, cheating is never okay, no matter how you or your
partner might try to reason it. If both you and your partner have
mutually agreed upon an exclusive relationship, and your partner can't
keep to that commitment, it'll be tough to salvage that relationship. A
second chance might be warranted under certain circumstances, but a
third or fourth chance should never be. Not sure whether you’re being
cheated on? Read up on the signs before making an accusation.
5. You Just Aren’t Into It
Ultimately, if you're simply no longer interested in being with someone, you don’t need
a better reason than that to break up. If you’re habitually bored or
turned off by the person you're dating, it’s time to leave.
………….
Breaking
up is hard and painful, but there's always light at the end of the
tunnel, especially when a couple simply isn't meant to be together.
Sometimes, in fact, being single is the best thing you can do for
yourself, as is the case right after college. If you’re wondering whether you just need to be alone for a while, check out these signs that indicate it’s time to take a break from dating. Otherwise, you and this particular person might just not be a match.
Once
you determine that the relationship has run its course, don’t drag
things out. You’ll be a lot happier if you simply put it to rest rather
than trying to “make it work” when you know it can’t. That doesn’t mean
you should ever walk away at the first sign of conflict or without
giving your partner any explanation. But when the time comes, be
compassionate but firm. The most honorable thing you can do is to be
honest with yourself and the person you're seeing.
By Sarah Marsh
