You have been best friends with this person for years, but things
just seem off lately. It seems like the bad days are outweighing the
good days, and now you’re even wondering why you were friends in the
first place. If you are experiencing the signs listed below, it might
be time to break up with your bestie.
1. They talk behind your back
Friends
are supposed to be trustworthy and dependable. You should be able to
have faith that this person has your back 100%if you are going to call
them your “best friend”. They are supposed to be your “ride or die”,
right? So, if your trust in this person is shaky, and if you’ve heard
rumblings that they talk behind your back, share your secrets, or say
negative things about you, then the odds are that this person is not
best friend material. Here’s a clue, if they are constantly talking to
you about other people, or if they are one of those haters who always
has something negative to say about everyone, it’s very likely that they
have something negative to say about you too when you are not around.
It’s time to let them go.
2. They don’t support you
Your best friend is
supposed to be your biggest cheerleader. If you are having a bad day,
you should be able to turn to them for support. If you got a bad grade
on a test, broke up with a crush, or had an argument with your parents,
you should be able to turn to your best friend in hopes that they can
put a smile on your face, lighten your mood, and provide some sort of
comfort. Your best friend should also be someone who adds value to your life,
meaning that they encourage you to go after your goals, help you
achieve your dreams, and motivate you to be your very best self. Is
your best friend doing that for you? Or, are they competing with you,
hoping that you don’t succeed? You may need to reevaluate your choice
for your BFF if they are not truly there for you.
3. You feel bad when you are around them
Monitor how you feel when
you are around your best friend. If they make you feel bad about
yourself, cut you down and say mean things about you, talk about your
clothes, hair, and just don’t make you feel good, then this person is
not a best friend…they are actually probably not even a friend. You’ve
got to check your self-esteem and if you feel like your best friend is
making your self-esteem or your belief in yourself drop, that’s totally
not cool.
4. They get you involved in a lot of drama
Is
your best friend one of those people who is constantly involved in
unnecessary drama? For example, are they frequently involved in social
media wars on Instagram and
Twitter, do they start or spread rumors, have they invited you to skip
school, steal, do drugs, post something stupid online, or something else
that will get you in trouble? If your best friend is a drama queen and
is a bad influence on you, then it’s time for you to make a serious
decision about your friendship. Do you want to continue to hang out with
someone who negatively impacts your life, or do you want to find new friends who are positive and contribute to your life in good ways?
5. You don’t really have anything in common
Does
it feel like you no longer have things to talk about with this person?
Are there frequent moments of awkward silence, weird fake laughs at
each other’s jokes, or moments when you just have no idea what they are
even talking about? Sometimes as we grow older, our likes, dislikes,
and interests change, which is totally normal. It might be that you and
your best friend’s interests have grown in separate directions, which
is causing you to have less in common than you did in the past. If
this is true, then it might be time to let go of that best friend title and just call it like it is.
Friendships come and go.
A true best friend is someone who has your back, makes you feel good
about yourself, helps you in time of need, is dependable, and is someone
who you have commonalities with. But, in order to gain best friend,
you’ve got to be a best friend too. So, always remember to treat others
how you want to be treated and to be choosy when handing out that “best
friend” title because only a true best friend deserves it.
By Keisha Howard
Teen Advice Expert
