How not to break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend
Love is a funny old thing and sometimes things just don’t work out. When things go sour though, make sure you never break up with someone in any of these 10 terrible ways.
Hang a sign on the motorway
Surely hanging a sign from the motorway is one of the worst ways to break up with someone? Yet this is what one angry woman did in Birmingham. She hung a five-foot banner from a motorway bridge that read: ‘Chris, I hope the quarter finals are worth missing our anniversary for – don’t rush back!’ Ouch, this breakup is brutal. Plus it’s a massive health hazard – we hope Chris didn’t crash from the shock.
You turn nasty
Turning nasty until the person you’re with breaks up with you is one of the lowest breakup tactics we know about, so shame on you if you’ve tried this. Basically what happens is the person who wants to end the relationship is so spineless they belittle, undermine and stand up their partner on date nights until the other person is forced to finish with them.
Mail out to wedding guests
Ever heard of Jarret Stoll? He is the cruel and heartless professional hockey player who chose to finish with his fiancé, Rachel Hunter, via email. But it gets worse than that. Not only did he finish with her via email, he also sent that email to all of their 200 wedding guests without telling her beforehand. Jarret, we hope you’ve realised the error of your ways.
Relationship status
Imagine quickly logging into Facebook to stalk someone you vaguely know only to see that your boyfriend or girlfriend has changed their relationship status… to single. You’d be surprised how many people have actually done this. The only time this sort of behaviour is acceptable is if your girlfriend or boyfriend has cheated on you and passed on some sort of nasty disease.
You become a superhero
Never heard of someone turning into a superhero in order to break up with someone? Think again. All of those people who have stopped answering their calls, stopped turning up to dates and generally avoided their partner until they get the hint that their relationship is over all became superheroes with invisibility powers. Let’s just hope their supernatural powers can be used for good next time.
Your friend helps you
You might have thought that since leaving school and puberty behind you would never again have to experience the humiliation of being dumped by your girlfriend or boyfriend’s best mate. Yet it turns out some people never really grow up and this is still one way some very cowardly people choose to breakup with their girlfriend or boyfriend.
Left at the altar
How on earth do you get over a jilting? If you want to know you could always ask poor Michelle from the reality dating show The Bachelor who got left at the altar by her fiancé in front of a TV audience of 15 million. Getting dumped in front of all of your friends and family is surely one of the worst ways you can break up with someone, especially because you were willing to spend the rest of your life with that person.
Change the locks
Getting home to find your key no longer works and that you can’t get into your house is one of the worst ways to find out you’re now single and also homeless. What would be even worse though is then seeing your ex throw all of your belongings out of the window onto the street. After being bluntly dumped, scrabbling around collecting your clothes basically means your ex has also chucked away all of your dignity. Thanks darling.
Get ‘caught’ cheating
Deliberately getting caught out is an easy option that some people who are too scared to break things off with their partner choose to take. Some people leave dirty messages that have been sent to other people on their computer screens, others get ‘caught’ kissing someone else when they know that their girlfriend or boyfriend is around. Be warned though, karma has a way of ensuring retribution is delivered to people who do this.
Post-it note
We’ve all seen that episode of Sex and the City where Berger (Ron Livingston) dumps Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) on a post-it note. Not only is this method of breaking up with someone blasé and lacking the necessary emotion, you’ll never be able to rekindle your love of stationary again and whenever you see a friendly old post-it note you’ll only feel anger and sadness. How dare someone ruin post-its for you?
Arrange by dearJulius.com Team
