Warning Signs
from Mom.me
Let's be honest, marriage is hard. One partner might be happy to spend time alone while the other might feel neglected. Find out if your spouse is sending you a sign that they're not getting enough one-on-one time with you to keep your marriage happy and secure.
They Tell You
By far, the easiest sign your spouse wants more of your attention is that they're telling you so. If you're hearing things like, "We don't spend enough time together" or "I miss you," your spouse is clearly letting you know that they need more of your time and attention.
They're Extra Clingy
Does your spouse seem to be extra touchy-feely with you? They might be sending you a sign that they need more attention. When a partner seems constantly clingy, they might be demonstrating a fear of abandonment and may be trying to ease that anxiety by excessively demonstrating their love.
They Seem More Distant
In contrast to being extra clingy, some partners who feel neglected might become distant. This avoidance could be a sign that your partner feels low on your list of priorities and could use more affection, time and attention to prove they're an important part of your daily life.
They Don't Want to Do Things Together
Did your spouse once delight in making weekend plans with you, yet these days they don't even make the effort to spend time together? This could be a sign that they've missed your attention for far too long. When couples lead independent lives and don't make time to reconnect, it's not uncommon for one or both of them to pull away from the relationship and spend time alone, or with those who seem to actually want their company.
They Get Upset Over Little Things
Is your partner uncharacteristically mad about things that seem small and inconsequential? If this is unusual behavior from your spouse, this could be a sign that they need more attention from you. Acting out in anger is typically a symptom of feeling unhappy or stressed in other areas of our life and could be a major red flag that your spouse feels neglected.
They Seem More Irritable
Much like getting mad about small things, if your spouse is constantly irritated by you, they might be going through attention withdrawal. The reason? Spending so much time without our partners can lead us to forget what we enjoyed about them, and we develop our own routines that don't include the person who's neglecting us. When an emotionally or physically absent spouse suddenly appears, it can feel more like an annoyance than a chance to reconnect.
They're Jealous of Time You Spend With Others
Does your usually trusting spouse suddenly seem bothered by the time and attention you're giving others? This is a red flag that they're feeling left out of your life. Consider this: If a majority of your free time is spent with your friends or other family members, then it's likely your partner might be feeling jealous and in need of dedicated time together.
They're Not Interested in Having Sex
It might seem odd that a spouse in need of attention would deny their partner sex, but it makes perfect sense when you think about it. When someone isn't getting enough attention from someone they love, they might start to view that person as a stranger. If your once-loving partner withdraws from your touch and doesn't seem interested in making love, a possible reason could be that they're attention-starved and need to reconnect with you.
They're Always Nagging You
Does your spouse criticize you or continuously tell you what to do? They might feel as if they're on their own in your marriage and are searching for a way to gain control. If your spouse seems to be nagging more often than normal (we all nag a little from time to time), it might be that they're feeling alone and could use more positive couple time.
They've Changed Their Look
New hair, makeup, outfits or even a new fitness routine might be a sign that your spouse is vying for your attention. Take notice. Does your partner seem eager for you to praise their appearance, especially after a new haircut, dress or gym session? Chances are they're feeling insecure that their everyday appearance has caused you to turn away from them and they're searching for a way to reignite your interest.
They're Passive-Aggressive
Everyone's communication style differs, but when a spouse transitions from being confident and clear about their needs to making passive-aggressive digs that suggest they're unhappy, it's time to listen. Passive aggression is a symptom of hidden anger, and is a sign your partner might be upset about the lack of attention, time and affection they're getting from you.
They Question Your Every Move
It's not uncommon for someone to feel threatened or distrustful when their spouse begins showing them less attention. Has your partner suddenly begun questioning your every move or looking over your shoulder when you're texting or communicating via social media? While distrustful behavior isn't healthy in any relationship, your spouse could be afraid you're giving your attention (and affection) to someone else.
They Need Constant Affirmation of Your Love
Does your spouse constantly ask you if you love them? Needing affirmation of your love and commitment might be a sign that they're feeling less confident about the status of your relationship. While it's healthy and normal to say "I love you," when a spouse needs to hear it constantly, or frequently wants you to describe why you love them, it's a red flag that they're feeling alone in the relationship.
They Spend More Time on Their Phone
Let's face it, modern couples tend to spend a lot more time on their devices than ever before. While relying on technology doesn't necessarily mean your partner is missing you, if your partner turns to their smartphone instead of you when they've got news to share or need support, or if you're finding out about their day from their Facebook posts instead of in person, it's a clear sign they need more one-on-one time with you.
They've Stopped Asking You for Help
If your spouse no longer asks for you to help them with the chores, the kids or daily tasks, there's a good chance it's because your attention has been elsewhere. Have you been too busy lately to contribute around the house or with the kids? Leaving all the family responsibilities to your partner might cause them to view you as an outsider who isn't a reliable source of support.
They Seem to Have Given Up Trying
While expressing a lack of interest in things that once used to matter is a symptom of depression (and should be evaluated by a doctor), it could also be a sign that someone feels seriously neglected in their relationship and might be ready to call it quits. If your partner has stopped trying to engage with you or contribute to your lives together as a couple, it's important to find out why and, barring mental health issues, find a solution that likely includes spending more time together.
They Try to Overcompensate
While it might seem great to have a spouse that dotes on your every need, it's important to remember that our partners aren't our hired help and deserve to be nurtured and taken care of as well as they do for us. If your spouse seems overly focused on meeting your needs, it could be because they feel as if you wouldn't spend time with them otherwise. Are you giving them enough undivided attention that doesn't revolve around you? If not, it's time to start.
