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| © Provided by NewsCred What Is True Love & How Do I Find It? How To Have A Healthy Relationship With Your Soulmate |
People who search for “true love” set themselves up with an
unrealistic expectation because what they really think true love means
is that it will be easy.
And when
challenges arise — there is a conflict, a miscommunication, a
disappointment — it’s easier for them to give up, lick their wounds, and
move on.
Expecting that a healthy relationship will be easy with the “right
person” sets the bar so astronomically high that no person will ever
measure up.
The
myth of Accidental Love permeates our society through songs, movies,
books, and poems. There is quite the obsession with the idea that True
Love will just magically happen, often times “when we least expect it.”
Nothing else in life occurs this way, and yet so many believe that love operates under different universal laws than everything else.
From
the moment we pop out of the womb, we are told that everything in life
worth having requires an education and a skill set — everything except
love.
We are sold the myth that love will just magically happen
one day. True Love Seekers are awaiting the magical feeling of “falling
in love” and they wrongfully expect that the feeling will last.
Unfortunately
the one thing we can all count on, as sure as we know the sun will rise
tomorrow, is that our feelings will change. How we feel right now is
not a great indicator that we’ve discovered an ideal match for a
long-term relationship.
The 5 Stages Of Relationship begins with the Romance Stage.
This
phase is a chemical high that will eventually wear off. Chemistry is an
essential ingredient for love to last — however, it's not the only
component that is required.
Be wary of any relationship that has a
truncated Romance Stage. By it’s nature the Romance Stage will be easy,
however, it is not meant to last forever.
Ideally, the Romance
Stage puts enough gas in the tank of the relationship to allow the
couple to make it through the second phase of relationship.
The
Power Struggle is the hangover from the Romance Stage. In this phase
each person will individuate within the relationship and through this
process a tug-of-war ensues.
Most people searching for True Love
bail on the relationship once the power struggle begins, because the
relationship no longer feels "easy."
It’s the attachment to love
being easy forever that is the source much misery, and a key
contributing factor to the divorce rate on first marriages.
The
fact that challenges have materialized doesn’t mean this is not the
right person for you long-term. It’s how a couple navigates through
those challenges that will be a good indicator of whether this is a
lasting match or not.
Remember as well that sex is instinctual, whereas monogamy is a social construct.
So in today’s modern world, it's not necessary for people to be coupled, and it's certainly not required.
This
means that moving through all five Stages Of Relationships and beyond
isn't something that will simply occur when you least expect it.
Most
couples make a lifelong commitment to one another in the Romance Stage
of relationship and reach the Power Struggle Stage while planning, or
shortly after, the wedding ceremony.
But it’s not until the fourth
phase of a relationship that a couple has discovered enough about each
other to be in the Commitment Stage.
True Love must be lasting love, or it isn't love at all.
True Love must be fully realized or fulfilled, and that occurs over decades together by continuing to choose each other.
Choosing the same person over and over and over again is a skill that can be learned.
Then comes the question of why we bother to partner up at all?
The answer, we believe, lies in a Swedish proverb: "Shared joy is double joy, Shared sorrow is half sorrow."
Going through life in a True Soul Partnership doubles your joy and cuts your sorrow in half.
Life will present challenges and throw us curve balls whether we are partnered or not.
Our question for you is this: What would your life be like if you had the support of your beloved by your side?
