By Marni Feuerman
Marriage Expert
Marriage
is a journey through life as a couple. When you first get married, life
is full of bliss and you can't imagine spending one minute apart from
the one that you love. Over time, the new excitement of your partnership
starts to fade away, and you get used to living together and the daily
routines that you fall into. It is at this stage that some couples get
lost in the routine and lose the spark of what brought them together in
the first place. You get busy, and sometimes forget what things were
like when you first said "I do." Keeping a marriage strong takes work!
Here are six secrets to making your journey as a married couple a healthy and exciting one:
Open Communication
Communication
is an essential element to a thriving marriage. Nobody likes to feel
like they are left in the dark with regard to what the other partner is
feeling, or with decisions that need to be made in the household. Make
it a point to keep your spouse up-to-date with what is going on in your
life, and what you are thinking about.
Lack of communication leads to couples losing
touch with one another, and the possibility of one person thinking that
the other is keeping secrets. Make a point to have deep and meaningful conversations, not just talk about the mundane parts of life.
Mutual Respect and Admiration
When
you love someone, you should respect and admire that person. Each
partner in the marriage should consider the other person's feelings and
what is on their mind. It is perfectly normal to have moments of
miscommunication, confusion, and not understanding where the other
person is coming from, but two married people need to support and
respect each other. If your spouse has an idea that you feel is way in
left field, listen to him or her and appreciate that they felt the need
to talk to you about it. Even if you do not agree with your partner,
show him or her respect as a person. You must also cherish your spouse
and look for qualities in them that you are fond of and appreciate.
Date Nights
The
concept of dating should not be lost when you get married. Dating is
what brought you together as a couple in the first place. Take time out
of your busy lives to get dressed up and spend an evening together as a
couple away from home. Romance is what keeps marriages alive,
and it should be something you strive for. Date nights should happen at
least once a month, and do not have to be fancy or expensive affairs.
This is the time where you can have some light-hearted conversation and
reunite as a happy couple.
Constructive Disagreements
It
is inevitable that when two people live together day in and day out,
there are going to be disagreements. One of you will come home from work
in a bad mood, or your spouse will want to have a deep conversation
when all you want to do is watch TV. It is normal to have disagreements
from time-to-time, but they should be constructive and not turn into
full-blown arguments. When people argue, nasty things are usually said,
and these things can be very hurtful to your spouse. In the event you find your disagreement turning sour,
take a break and cool down before you address the topic again. The
happiest marriages are where two people feel that there is power sharing
and both are on level ground with each other.
Trust
Trust
is the foundation of a healthy relationship. You have to trust your
partner if the marriage is to thrive. Your spouse is your partner and
there should never be a reason to keep secrets or lie to the one you
love. Be open and honest in
your relationship, because broken trust is not easy to fix. If you are
having financial problems, make sure to get your spouse in the loop so
that you can work together to fix the issues. It is also vital to be
transparent about your relationships with other people so that it never
appears as though you are unfaithful. When there is trust in a marriage,
the union thrives.
Keep Life Fun
Another
important secret to a happy marriage is to keep it fun. Your significant
other should be your best friend in life and you both should work
together to have as much fun as you can during your journey as a couple.
Take vacations, find hobbies you both enjoy, and laugh as often as you
can. When both parties are happy, anything is possible.
As you go
through life as a couple, it is easy to get wrapped up in the everyday
routines and busy schedules. Despite this, you should always take the
time to let your other half know that you love and care about them. Step
away from the hustle and bustle of life and enjoy some one-on-one time
with your spouse. Marriage is hard work, but when you work through the
secrets of keeping it alive, you and your spouse will have a better
chance of making it through to the very end.
Recommended reading:
Purchase from Amazon the popular book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman, PhD or Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson.
source: about.com
