By Marni Feuerman
Marriage Expert
Congratulations on your marriage! Now that the ink is dry on the marriage
certificate, the honeymoon has been taken and all of the wedding gifts
has been carefully placed in your new home, you are probably ready to
sit down and settle into married life. That's all fine, but many
newlyweds make serious social mistakes after their wedding, and those
blunders can cost you your friends, and in the direst of circumstances,
your marriage.
Here are three common social mistakes that newlyweds tend to make:
Mistake #1: Alienating Your Friends
Now
that you're married you want to share the happy news with everyone on
your friends list. You probably want to shout it from the rooftop of
every social media site in existence, but tread lightly with these
things. Inundating your friends with posts about being married and a
plethora of wedding pictures can quickly have them rolling their eyes.
Keep it short and sweet. Your good friends know you are married and are
happy for you, but that doesn't mean they want to see 8,000 pictures
from your wedding, broken down into chunks of 30 pictures every, single
day for the next year.
While your marriage might be the epicenter of
your existence, it is not something your friends are that interested in.
Take a step back and figure out if you have become one of those
annoying “Facebookers,” then lay off the pics or awhile.
Mistake #2: I Became a We (To an Extreme)
You
are freshly married and draped in a cloud of true love and wedded
bliss. That is great news, but do not let your happiness take away your
individuality. Believe it or not, married couples are allowed to have
individualized thoughts. You can think something without turning it into
a "We think..." all the time. Make sure you make some time to do things
you enjoy separately from your spouse and remember to form your own
opinion and leave your beloved out of it. Research shows spending some
time apart and having individualized interests is a good thing for
marriages, both early on in them and later down the road.
Mistakes #3: You Complain About the In-laws
So,
maybe your husband's mother isn't your cup of tea. Maybe you always
knew that but overlooked it for all of the wedded bliss promises that
were coming down the pipeline. Now that you are officially married, you
have figured out that your husband's need to call his mom when he wakes
up is incredibly annoying. While you may be tempted to talk about it, or
even argue that his mom is overbearing, this is often not a good idea.
It is also wise to not complain about your in-laws to your friends.
Whether you have in-laws sent from heaven, or you have inherited a
monster-in-law, it does not really matter. You do have to co-exist with
these people and berating his mother, father or brother who can't hold a
job to him probably will not do anything spectacular for your marriage.
Unless
you honestly believe his family members are toxic, you should just grin
and bare it. Or, sit down for a serious discussion with your spouse
about boundary concerns
in a mature and diplomatic way. Remember, you do not have to love them
like they are your own family, but you absolutely do have to be civil
and tolerate them for your marriage's sake.
Although these three
mistakes are not egregious, they can definitely be problematic. Getting
married is an incredible journey and there is a “learning curve” for the
new life you are now creating together. Don’t make some of these social
slip-ups along the way.
source: about.com
