We’re all about online dating. Not only is it an incredibly proactive way to take control of your love life, but it really does work. According to a 2013 study by the National Academy of Sciences, more than a third of marriages in the U.S. start online, and these marriage are less likely to result in separation or divorce.
That said, in order to navigate the world of online dating with aplomb, it’s key to understand that the mighty profile is pretty much your ticket to meeting the types of people you want to meet. All too often, women (and men, but we already know that) will fill up their profile with clichés, TMI, senseless jargon, or lame factoids that do the opposite of what they’re supposed to. To that end, we’ve compiled a list of what not to write on an online dating profile—ever.
“Basically, I’m looking for my knight in shining armor.”
Hello, it’s 2014. Get over the idea of men as knights that’ll rescue you from your life as it stands. Only you can do that.
2
“My friends tell me I look like [fill in insanely hot celebrity here.]
Even if you’re Megan Fox‘s long-lost twin, scrap that fact from your profile. It opens you up for unneeded comparison (“this girl claims she looks like Megan Fox, bahahahahaha!”), and if you really are Megan’s doppelganger—assuming the guys you’re courting have decent eyesight—it won’t go unnoticed.
3
Even if you’re Megan Fox‘s long-lost twin, scrap that fact from your profile. It opens you up for unneeded comparison (“this girl claims she looks like Megan Fox, bahahahahaha!”), and if you really are Megan’s doppelganger—assuming the guys you’re courting have decent eyesight—it won’t go unnoticed.
3
“I’m a real go-getter.”
Go get yourself a less cliché phrase then. If you’re truly ambitious, “I’m hoping to [fill in awesome accomplishment here] will probably suffice.
4
Go get yourself a less cliché phrase then. If you’re truly ambitious, “I’m hoping to [fill in awesome accomplishment here] will probably suffice.
4
“LOL, lol, or lolz.”
“My name is Jen and this is my first time on this thing lol. I’m pretty chill LOL but definitely looking for a down-to-earth guy that’s not too serious lolz!!”
5
“My name is Jen and this is my first time on this thing lol. I’m pretty chill LOL but definitely looking for a down-to-earth guy that’s not too serious lolz!!”
5
“I’m living the dream.”
Unless you literally just won a hundred million dollars and are writing your dating profile from a new yacht, leave that one out. Going clubbing with your girls on Fridays doesn’t classify as living the dream.
6
Unless you literally just won a hundred million dollars and are writing your dating profile from a new yacht, leave that one out. Going clubbing with your girls on Fridays doesn’t classify as living the dream.
6
“I love to laugh.”
Unless you want to attract every aspiring stand-up comic in your area, you might want to skip that fact. And anyway, who doesn’t like to laugh?
7
Unless you want to attract every aspiring stand-up comic in your area, you might want to skip that fact. And anyway, who doesn’t like to laugh?
7
“I’m not into playing games.”
Because that’ll totally make game-playing douchebags be like “oh wait, maybe I shouldn’t message this Megan Fox lookalike. She hates playing games.”
8
Because that’ll totally make game-playing douchebags be like “oh wait, maybe I shouldn’t message this Megan Fox lookalike. She hates playing games.”
8
“I’m looking for someone to help me explore this crazy adventure we call life.”
What, nobody would ever write that? We’ve seen it.
9
What, nobody would ever write that? We’ve seen it.
9
“I’m obsessed with my cat.”
Hear that sound? It’s the multitudes of men clicking the backspace arrow.
10
Hear that sound? It’s the multitudes of men clicking the backspace arrow.
10
“I’m totally type-A, and I’m okay with that.”
Translation: I’m totally controlling, and won’t ever change.
11
Translation: I’m totally controlling, and won’t ever change.
11
“I definitely want kids—and soon!”
Leading with the “life” things you want—a husband, kids, a cute little country cottage upstate—sounds more like you’re looking for someone to fulfill your needs then to share them with you. And even if that’s the case, no need to put it in writing to a bunch of strangers.
12
Leading with the “life” things you want—a husband, kids, a cute little country cottage upstate—sounds more like you’re looking for someone to fulfill your needs then to share them with you. And even if that’s the case, no need to put it in writing to a bunch of strangers.
12
“I’m [insert age here] but feel/look/act [insert much younger age here.]
You kind of can’t win with this one. If you’re middle aged, it sounds desperate. If you’re in your 30’s or 40’s, it makes you look insecure about your age. And if you’re 23, it’s just creepy.
By Perrie Samotin | Style Caster
You kind of can’t win with this one. If you’re middle aged, it sounds desperate. If you’re in your 30’s or 40’s, it makes you look insecure about your age. And if you’re 23, it’s just creepy.
By Perrie Samotin | Style Caster
