One of the occupational hazards of being a relationship expert is seeing a message pertaining to relationships in a variety of other aspects of life. Given where I live, spring has arrived and I relish in seeing the rebirth. I find it absolutely fascinating that after the long, dreary months of winter, all the trees and bushes bloom again with magnificent flowers and leaves, birds singing and everything taking on a refreshed look. It seems amazing that life can come back to what seemed to be so dismal.
What’s the message for me — and you? Relationships become gloomy too. It’s easy to feel down, hopeless and like there’s no sense in putting much energy forth. These kinds of experiences are the same way you might feel in the midst of winter.
However, just as winter turns into spring and everything comes back again, so can a relationship! Of course, there is one major difference: the seasons change year after year and all you have to do is trust the process. With your partnership, there’s a bit more effort on your part.
Here are some tips to put the spring back into your relationship:
Constant change.
Like the seasons, know that relationships go through ebbs and flows. Don’t get upset if yours is going through a rough patch.
2
Perspective matters.
Realize that the grass only looks greener on the other side of the road until you cross over; once you’re standing on the other side and have a close-up view, there are dark spots there too.
3
Your thoughts add up.
A great deal of having things change will depend on your attitude. Research has shown that feelings follow the way you think and you can control your thoughts. So have a positive attitude about the possibility of making change in your partnership.
4
Be empowered.
Rather than wait for your mate to make a change, you be the initiator. Based on Action/Reaction™, your partner will respond in kind when you start doing positive behaviors to revitalize your relationship.
5
It’s the little things.
The behaviors you take don’t have to be large; as a matter of fact, little ones will not only be easier for you to carry out but they will also make a big difference.
Sometimes, when you feel so disconnected, it’s hard to find your way back. So many couples have come into my office feeling this way; but with the right tools, they’ve been able to once again find the spark they once had and enjoy a great relationship. I have no doubt that you can, too!
By Dr. Karen Sherman, YourTango | Style Caster
