We have described dating in the past as the time taken to get to know someone better and better before you take your relationship to another level. Unfortunately, these days many do not take the time required to know one another as they should before taking things too far. I have heard people debate about when the right time to sleep together is. Some say after the 5th date others the 7th. Before I go any further, let me just say that the only date to consider when planning sleeping with anyone, is the date of the wedding. The wedding night or anytime AFTER you are married. Today, however, it’s not about sex but about kissing.
Many may not consider a kiss an issue or a big deal, but it really is. A kiss can say a lot! A kiss is very personal and should not be given to anyone. In the world of prostitution, there is no kissing involved, as it is said to be too personal where as the work at hand is “Just business.” I have to say, it is insane that you can refuse to kiss the client claiming it is too personal, yet you can sleep with them and allow them to see you naked and do just about anything they can pay for. There is also another debate about kissing on the first date, or even getting kissed goodbye after a date. Clearly a kiss is a big deal.
There are various kinds of kisses, and each one sends a message. There is a kiss on the cheek while greeting a friend or family member. There is the forehead kiss that is also shared amongst dear friends and family. There is the lip to lip closed mouth kiss that many may give in the initial stages of a relationship and there is the open mouthed kiss that is very passionate and erotic. Kisses applied to various body parts also send messages such us on the neck that is very seductive, and on the back of the hand that is an old school greeting between a gentleman and a lady. While dating, any kiss that is seductive or erotic should be avoided by all means. It is very easy to begin kissing passionately and before you know it one thing leads to another and next thing you know, you are pregnant, repenting and having too many regrets.
Many times I hear my pastor advice dating couples not to kiss at all. I would say kissing is a lot like drinking. The Bible does not condemn it, but there is no saying what anyone can take without messing up. One glass of wine may not affect me much, but it may get another one drunk and there lies the sin. When it comes to kissing, a closed mouth kiss on the lips may be simple, but to another it could get their blood hot and lead them down a road that is not too righteous. On that note, I would take the same road the Pastors and Bishops take and ask that you avoid it all together. Any form of physical contact is tricky. One may have been dealing with lust issues in the past and much more that could easily be triggered by a kiss or a touch. You never know.
Dating is all about getting to know one another better and better. If that works out and you end up married you will have the rest of your lives to kiss, touch and have sex, but if it does not work out, you can easily walk away with no regrets, no heartaches and no baby mama or daddy issues to say the least.
By Thitu Kariba
