So you both have mutually agreed upon moving in together in your
apartment. Well, best of luck and more power to you then. But living in
with your girlfriend
is not as easy as you think it is. Meeting regularly, going to movies
and doing cute things together before moving in was a different story
altogether. But living together without officially engaging in matrimony
is a whole another dimension to a relationship, at least in India it
is. A live-in can make or break your relationship as it exposes both of
you to the yet uncharted daily lives of each other. Here is how to start
it on a positive note.
It’s better not to get swayed in the spur of the moment and agree to
pay all the bills off your salary. Don’t think that discussing about
sharing the bills with your girlfriend would make you any less of a man.
Sit and discuss how everything was functioning before she was a part of
the house and how the finances would be dealt with once she moves in.
It would actually convey to her that you are an intelligent planner and
not ready to pay off for everything just because you are hopelessly in
love.
2) Don’t Treat It Like A Bachelor’s Pad
Your friends are welcome as always, but the treatment has to
drastically change. Now that she is as much a part of the house
(remember sharing the bills?) as you are, so she reserves all the rights
to have her say about everything that goes on in the house. You have to
realise that now you cannot be up all night drinking
with your pals and cheering for your favourite team. Also, manage your
stuff, she might be okay with a thing or two here and there, but turning
the whole apartment into your bedroom will only rage her up. Drunken
house-crashing friends would also have to be notified.
3) Give Her Space
Realise that now the whole vicinity is not solely for you, you might
have done up your apartment in the manliest way, but since she is here,
some of your stuff needs to go. Give her enough space to accommodate her
belongings like kitchen ware, tables, etc and most importantly, her wardrobe.
4) Divide Responsibilities
Okay, the worst part is that men take women living with them for
granted and expect them to do most of the domestic work. But please
refrain from this notion and be man enough to take on tasks you think
you can pull off. You both can decide that who cooks when, who does the
dishes tonight and who goes to pick up groceries. Remember that in
addition to being romantic partners, you are now roommates as well. And
nothing kills the mood faster than feeling resentment because the bed
hasn’t been made and the lights won’t turn on.
5) Keep The Spark Alive
Just because now you two are living together doesn’t mean that your ‘us’
time means watching some lame television series. Go out for dinners,
catch a movie together or just have a small get-together like you used
to with your mutual friends. And yes guys, continue brining her flowers
and other small things that brings a smile to her face.
By Shantanu Prasher
