We live in what has been termed a “mobile society.” This could have
something to do with vehicular mobility, the fact that we move around a
lot. Or maybe it’s because our society is in transition.
Whatever the reason, our “mobility” is often the source of a lot of
problems in our personal interactions. In these times, you can be hard
pressed to find ways to save your relationship.
If you are finding that your intimate relationships are in trouble,
you are certainly not alone. In order to save your relationship with
your sweetheart, you have to go back to the beginning and work forward
from there.
There must have been something that attracted you to your partner in
the first place. Revisit those early days of your relationship and revel
in the passion and intensity that accompanied those first moments.
Now think a bit more about those early times. Did you both work at
establishing a foundation on which to build or were you “just playing it
by ear”? Those initial days, weeks, and even months of passion do fade.
Your relationship will continue long-term only if you cultivate
mutual interests, respect for each other and good communication about
everything a couple needs to discuss.
Some relationships only continue because you are both used to it and
no alternatives have offered themselves. It’s kind of sad, isn’t it?
Take heart, though – no relationship is over until it’s over (thank
you, Yogi Berra). If you are still together, you may save your
relationship with a few simple steps.
An analysis of long-term, fruitful relationships finds that there is
some commonality in them all. The couples grew beyond the initial
attraction and process of falling in love. They grew to really love each
other, with all the warts and bumps and scars we each carry.
NOTE: Being in love is different that falling in love. When you fall
in love, it is a purely emotional, physical response to the attraction
you feel for the other person. Being in love is a conscious act of
affection brought on by familiarity, appreciation, respect and good
communication with your partner.
You have to maintain a positive attitude about your mate. You must
overlook the warts and scars and see the inner person. View them in a
positive light and talk about them in a positive manner. Like courtesy,
it is contagious.
Make up a list about your partner with two columns, one for the
positive things about them and one for the negative. Encourage your
partner to do the same about you. Then compare your lists.
Make a commitment to each other to change as many of the negatives on
each list as you can. Make another commitment to communicate well, as
this is the basis for any sound alliance.
Commit further to expanding upon your mutual interests and
activities. Take up a hobby together, go to the health and fitness club
together, go to Church together and share your friends and families.
Your relationship should be a joy for both of you. Remember that “the
quality of a relationship is measured by how well it meets the needs of
all those involved.”
Do these things and you will be the couple that all others look to
for encouragement that good relationships are lasting, fulfilling and a
joy to behold.
