Tighten your seat belts, because this may turn out to be a rough ride for some of my readers. While dearJulius.com’s resident Pick Up Artist, The Player, has been doling out tips on ways to score chicks, he has been uncharacteristically tight lipped on getting women who are way out your league.
The main reason why most fine gentlemen end up dating and marrying (pardon my French) frogs boils down to a deficiency in the self esteem department.
While you may believe that you have absolutely no problem in that area, if you dating just about anyone you can get your hands on, you may have a major problem. The reason’s simple; you can’t get yourself to go after what you want. Instead you simply go for what you think you deserve. ‘No, that ain’t me. I always aim high’ you say, but unless you have a strong subconscious belief that only the best is worth of your time, you’re bound to botch it up.
While reading so far may be enough to make your push back your chair, get up and call up that angel-faced classmate or colleague for the pleasure of a movie and dinner date, unless you are subconsciously certain that you are the catch and she’s lucky to have been chosen by you, your insecurities will dribble out like a leaking oil and she’ll be subconsciously led to turn you down.
Unless you honestly believe that you are absolutely terrific, she won’t either.
Up-Dating – Lessons from Bugs and Beasts
The female seal doesn’t fall for first suitor who waddles up to her and honks his horn. Miss Ladybug will only choose the strongest predator of the pack, who is guaranteed to bring home the bacon. The Royal Bengal Tiger may boink a bunch of tigresses, but takes just one as his principal queen who rears its cubs. So if nature does not settle for less, why should you?
More often than not settling down has to do with your own loneliness and craving for support. Perhaps it’s because of the easy availability of sex. Also when coaxed, most men will admit that’s its easier getting a slave than a princess who (although not up to your standards) will do anything to keep you happy.
Many people get into a relationship believing that they have found (not their dream match but) someone who’s good enough settle down with. Then slowly as the months pass they start discovering her nasty little habits. She cheats, lies, whines, burps and farts in public.
As the disappointments keep piling up they realize that far from being ‘the one’ she’s not even worth spending another day with. Yet they stick it out although at a conscious level they know that they deserve better, their subconscious sings a very different tune. Now let's see if you recognize any hidden hang-ups in your personality.
Fear of Failure
A biggie in almost every area of life, FEAR turns into a festering boil that threatens to burst every time you want to make the move. However, renouncing rebound reactions is the first step you will need to take in order to up your dating scale.
This is what most guys fail to do. All it takes is a royal ignore from one princess, and they are sure that being frogs themselves, they can be successful only with – you guessed it right –another frog. They jump back into the pond, convinced that is their home and world.
Familiarity Breeds Laziness
You may have become so used to your comparatively comfortable life with the frogs, that you are intimidated by the life outside the pond. Frogs are easy. Frogs are familiar.
They have become a habit – a very bad habit. While I know that bad habits are hard to break, the only way you can do it is by sticking fast to your guns. So the next time opportunity presents itself to go out with a frog, say No!
Emotional Baggage Makes You Croak
You’re starving for affection – and have plenty of frogs feed your appetite. They love you and are always ready. And why not? As far as the frogs are concerned they are getting a jolly good deal.
You are probably richer, smarter, more attractive and so much cooler than them. They would be nuts not to fall for you. This is the excess (emotional) baggage that you’d need to get rid of.
Reaffirm your faith in your worth - know that you are meant for bigger and better things. A little self love can put an end to that unhealthy craving for affection.
Not in Your Hands
Sitting in front of the TV with your current frog thinking you will bump into a princess somewhere will ensure that you are stuck with your frog for the rest of your life.
Destiny doesn’t dictate your life, your life dictates your destiny. The secret is that unless you clearly indicate to the universe what you want, you won’t get it. What sort of a message do you think you are sending out to the universe, by lolling around with your frog?
Frogs Actually Turn Me On
Maybe the frogs you are attracted to aren’t frogs but other undesirable amphibians. A pretty drama queen or sexy, self-obsessed biatch can be but a stepping stone to the princess of your dreams.
Don’t stick around so long that you lose sight of the ultimate goal in your love life. Which, in some cases, might be marriage, but The Player himself has a long way to go in this round world.
Disclaimer: The term ‘frogs’ has been used as an analogy in the article. So ladies please don’t get offended. And frogs, you guys can sue us for all we are worth underwater.
