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By Holly Ashworth, LiveAbout
Getting dumped sucks, no matter how it's done. But if you're about to
dump someone, there are ways to do it that'll soften the blow. Here's
how to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend in the least painful
way possible.
4 Tips for Every Breakup
- Always break up with someone as soon as you decide that it's time to move on. Don't let your relationship die out on its own. The longer you stall, the more painful the breakup will be for both of you.
- Always break up in person. It's plain rude to break up with someone over a text message or even worse, on Instagram or Twitter.
- Never backtrack. If you know for sure that it's time to break up, don't leave the conversation in any other way than completely broken up.
- Realize that however you break up, it's going to hurt. Be sensitive and compassionate, but don't beat yourself up it. You did the right thing.
Why Should You Care?
You
might wonder why your breakup method matters much. After all, if you
don't want to date the person anymore, why do you have to worry about
how you say goodbye to them?
Well, here are 4 good reasons:
- Don't assume that your ex will be out of your life forever. Even if they don't go to your school, you might run into them a month or a year down the road. When you do, things'll be a lot less awkward if you parted ways on good terms.
- Your ex might have a big mouth. If you treat them like a jerk, word could get back to people you want to date in the future.
- Your feelings for your ex might change - and when they do, you'd better hope that they don't hate you forever. If your breakup went badly, they probably will.
- It's plain old good karma. Some people believe that the way you treat people will determine the way you're treated in the future. In other words: don't risk upsetting the breakup gods.
The Best Way to Breakup with Someone If the Timing Isn't Right
It sometimes happens that you've found the right person at the wrong time. Maybe they live too far away; maybe
your job or your sports team doesn't leave you enough time for a
relationship. If you need to break up with your sweetie but might want
to try things further down the road, be sure not to burn any bridges. Be
honest with them - "I really like you, but I don't think this
relationship can work out right now." Give them some space to get over
you, but when enough time has passed, see if they're ready to try being
friends.
The Best Way to Breakup with Someone You'll Probably See Every Day
If
your sweetie is someone at your school or work, do your best to keep
the breakup drama-free. It'll be painful for them to see you every day,
so give them lots of space. You don't need to pretend you don't see them
in the hallway, but don't crowd them or try to become friends with
them. They need time away from you to heal. Try as best as you can to respect that.
The Best Way to Breakup with Someone When You've Already Found Their Replacement
If
you're breaking up because you want to date someone new - someone who's
ready to date you, too - then you need to be gentle without telling any
lies. For instance: "I like you a lot, but I don't feel like we're
totally compatible." If they ask you if there's somebody else, be
honest. After the breakup, be sensitive of their feelings and don't rub your new relationship in their face.
The Best Way to Breakup with Someone Who Abused You
Getting out of an abusive relationship
can be difficult, because your ex might try to hurt you or manipulate
you into staying together. Use firm language, stay strong and end the
conversation quickly. You don't owe them anything. If you're afraid for
your safety, talk a parent or teacher, or, if you feel like there's no
other option, the police.
The Best Way to Breakup with Someone You Plain Old Lost Interest In
People who are being dumped usually have one question for you: why?
Answering them can be tricky, especially when there's no good reason
for the breakup. Don't let this deter you from breaking it off. If you
feel like it's time for the relationship to end, then it'd be unfair to
both of you to stay together. Answer them in a vague but gentle way: "I
just think it's time to for me move on;" "I don't feel like we're
totally compatible as boyfriend and girlfriend;" "I can't give you what
you're looking for in a relationship." Be there for comfort and hugs,
but make it clear to them that it's over.
