By Nadine Descheneaux, Espresso
Suffering from a bruised or broken heart? It’s time to stop pining and deal with that emotional hurt. For sure, at least one of these 20 ways to mend a broken heart will get you smiling again.
Redecorate
There’s nothing better than a spot of redecoration—whether just one room or the whole house—to take your mind off things. Also, changing the environment around you will help you stop reliving painful memories. Now that it’s only your opinion that counts, choose the decor that you really want.
Don’t act in the heat of the moment
When feeling intense emotions—anger, hurt, jealousy—don’t try to ignore them. Embrace them, feel them, and let them go. Just make sure that you’re not making any important decisions in the heat of the moment—you’ll only regret it later.
Find a mantra
The days following a devastating emotional event are hard. Find yourself a mantra that will remind you to keep going, to enjoy the present moment or to inject some kindness into your daily life. These phrases act as an anchor to stop you from becoming overwhelmed or succumbing to dark thoughts. Some examples would be: “I move forward calmly, trusting in myself,” “I am calm,” or “Every step forward helps me to become who I truly am.”
Become your own best friend
If it were your friend suffering heartache, what advice would you give them? Become your own ally, taking care of number one. Treat yourself, allow yourself time to rest and mend your broken heart. Where to start? Maybe extra whipped cream in your coffee, a hot-yoga session, or a candlelit bath.
Lose yourself in physical work
To take your mind off your aching heart, try to hypnotize yourself by doing a repetitive physical task. Repeating the same gesture will relax you. Try knitting or colouring—it’s even possible to completely lose yourself in something as mundane as cutting vegetables.
Buy a cactus
A bunch of flowers might only remind you of the love you’ve lost. Opt instead for a cactus or a small succulent to brighten up your home. And let that cactus inspire you: imagine your heart covered in prickles that protect it from attacks, painful memories or the desire to pick up the phone to call the person who has hurt you.
Get cleaning
Tidy, organize, clean out your drawers, wardrobe, dressing table or bookshelves—never underestimate the power of decluttering to improve your mental state. By organizing the environment around you, you’ll be organizing the space inside your head as well.
Heal yourself with art
Art has always been an effective balm against all sorts of emotional anguish and is a wonderful outlet for anger. Choose your medium—whether drawing, painting, writing or sculpture—and let your emotions flow out through your work. You’ll be surprised just how much better you feel afterwards.
Go outside
Rather than shutting yourself away indoors, try to get outside. Fresh air will re-energize you, and you’ll feel less downhearted. Beat the blues by getting out and seeing other people—your bruised heart needs human warmth. Pick up the phone and call your friends. All they want to do is help and support you.
Occupy your mind
If your heartbreak is stopping you from thinking about anything else, you need to find an activity that will stimulate your neurons. Start with short activities that can occupy your mind in periods of great stress. Crosswords? Learning a new language or taking up an instrument? Puzzles? Sudoku? Reading in another language? Your mind will be so busy that your problems just won’t find a way in.
Spend time doing the things you love
Life as one half of a couple requires certain compromises. You didn’t always like the same movies, the same activities or the same meals. But now, you don’t have to make any concessions. Take time, every day, to do the things you like. Binge on a Netflix series, eat dinner in bed with a book, take a midweek skiing trip. The important thing is that you’re doing what you want to do.
Create new playlists
Discover new songs and new artists. Change your musical environment and make sure you’re not endlessly listening to songs that stir up difficult memories. Let yourself sing at the top of your lungs to those songs you love most and that motivate, energize or heal you. Sing loud and proud to free your heart. You’ll feel liberated.
Find a new goal
A trip? A new apartment? A new job? Starting an Etsy shop selling your own creations? Running a marathon? Set yourself a goal to achieve and draw up a game plan to make sure you get there. On your marks, get set, go! All that positive energy will help you forget your troubles.
Resist the urge to stalk
Nothing good will come of stalking the person who broke your heart on social media. Resist the temptation to monitor their comings and goings, or look at their friends’ accounts. It’s pointless and you’ll only get hurt. Use this as an opportunity to purge your social media contacts!
Get a new look
Make an appointment with your hairdresser for a total restyle. Try out a new colour or a daring cut. A new look will really give your morale a boost. Taking care of yourself will soothe your injured heart. Go on—spoil yourself!
Tell your story
To heal emotional pain, you need to tell your story. Externalize everything you’re going through so that it stops torturing you. Bottling everything up will only let dark thoughts cause you more pain. It’s important to have a close friend that is prepared to listen. Don’t be ashamed to tell your story—it’s an essential step on the way to recovery.
Take a trip
Get away! Head off for a day, a weekend, a week or even longer. Get far away from everything that reminds you of the other person. Once there, you can really take stock of everything that has happened in your life, and then draw up a game plan for getting things back on track.
Make a pact
Make a pact with a friend who agrees to always be there to listen to you, get you out of the house or take your mind off things and get you smiling again. When you feel your morale crashing, or lethargy overwhelming you, agree that you can call them at any time. Their mission: distraction.
Surround yourself with real people
Forget about social media, Pinterest or the characters in your favourite shows. There are real people out there who love and care about you. Log out of the virtual world and get back to reality. Organize feel-good evenings or get together with those that you hold dearest.
Decide to be happy
Every day, make the decision to be happy. Train yourself to notice every little positive thing that happens to you. At first, when everything seems so bleak, this will be no easy task. But little by little, you’ll start to feel better and it will be easier to observe happy moments—even if they are fleeting—in your daily life.
