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By Heather Morgan Shott, The Nest
It has worked for 10 years so far!
Chris and I got married
10 years ago today. We met in a newsroom in Columbus, Ohio, right after
I graduated from college. We were both ambitious, workaholic newspaper
reporters. Chris had already been at the paper for a year by the time I
got there, so he showed me the ropes. We became fast friends...and
apparently we each had a crush on the other one. I took a new job and
moved away, but we stayed in touch. After lots of flirty emails we
started dating long-distance. Chris relocated and seven months later we
got engaged!
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Our relationship has been filled with highs (our two-year-old son
Mason!) and lows (I had to have gallbladder surgery three weeks before
our wedding!), but I'm proud to say that we're still happy 10 years
after our wedding day. Does that mean we have the perfect relationship?
No way. It just means that we've followed some of the great advice we've
been given over the years by our happily married grandparents and
parents. Here's what they taught us:
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1. Fight fair.
No name-calling and no cheap shots. It took a few years for us to get
the hang of this, but we finally got it. We drive each other crazy
sometimes but really working to disagree nicely has kept our household
pretty darn happy.
2. Share the same bed. Chris'
grandparents Ned and Suzy swore that the key to a happy marriage is
sleeping together. Easy advice to follow...unless you have a partner who
snores. I do, so I wear ear plugs (and occasionally kick him out to the
couch in the middle of the night)...
3. Make your sex life a priority.
Thankfully this is the one thing on this list that we haven't discussed
with the fam. (I would have died of embarrassment during that convo!)
But we work really hard to break out of inevitable ruts and keep things hot.
4. Start a family when you want to.
The baby pressure started pretty much the day we got married. But my
mom urged me to ignore it and wait until the time was right for us. We
listened--and spent 7 years checking off the items on our pre-baby bucket list.
5. You don't have to have kids. My mom
actually said these words. She knew Chris and I were constantly debating
about the kid issue--and she wanted to let us know that she would
support our decision either way.
6. Laugh a lot. This
was one of my grandparent's rules. I'm a high-strung, type A pain in
the a*s. Chris is laid back and funny. It's easy to laugh with him...and
be happy together when we're laughing.
7. Talk, really talk, often. This
is actually something I learned from a therapist once. If something
bothers me about him (or vice versa), we try to address it fast--before
it becomes a deal breaker.
8. Keep your money separate. This one isn't right for everyone--but
it was right for us. We split bills down the middle and spend whatever
is left however we want to. I'm not annoyed by his pricey hockey
tickets, he's not annoyed by my shoe habit (as long as I keep part of my
collection at work to help minimize clutter!).
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9. Respect his point of view. During
our wedding toast my grandfather joked, "Chris, you always knew you
were marrying Miss. Right--you just didn't realize that her middle name
is Always." I took his message to heart--and I work hard to see Chris'
POV (even when I know I'm right).
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