Why Worrying Is Harmful to Your Relationship

It’s natural to worry when you’re in a relationship. After all, it’s normal to feel a bit anxious about how things are going, or if things are moving too fast, or too slow or if things seem to be going in the wrong direction. On the flip side, what’s not normal is when you find yourself constantly and relentlessly worrying about your relationship. It’s not healthy for you, your partner or your relationship to be in a continuous state of panic. So why is worrying so worrisome? And what can you do to stop it?

What’s the problem with worrying? If you find yourself constantly worrying, you’re doing a number on your health and wellbeing. When you worry, your body goes into classic “fight or flight” mode in order to deal with whatever’s stressing you out.

But it goes even further, as you can literally make yourself worried sick. When the stress hormones get released in your body, you can experience muscle pain and tension, elevated heart rate, changes in your breathing, headaches, perspiration, dizziness and even digestive and memory problems, to name a few.

Not a great way to live your life.

What does worrying do to your relationship? Not surprisingly, the changes that occur in your body when you’re in a state of worrying manifest themselves into changes in your mood and behavior. You may find yourself snapping at your partner, feeling angry, irritable and upset. And with these kinds of mood swings, you’re bound to strike out when it comes to your relationship.
Constantly worrying becomes a major relationship distraction, detraction and dominant force that can take over everything. If you’re constantly worrying about every minor detail, it can chisel away little by little at the trust that’s the backbone of your relationship.

What can you do to manage the worrying? In order to put an end to this constant state of worrying, it’s important to figure out exactly what you’re worrying about. And that means making an actual list of what’s causing you this much stress and anxiety. Write it down. Get it all out. Once you can literally see what’s bothering you, you can begin to take steps to deal with each issue point by point.

What worrisome issues do you have the power to change? When reviewing your list, it’s important to realize that some causes of your worrying can be completely nullified. For example, if your boyfriend travels for business, and you find yourself constantly worrying that your relationship will turn into “out of sight, out of mind” when he’s out of town, take action to manage this stress by developing a plan with your partner.
Decide together that he’ll always text you when he lands, or agree that he'll send you pictures from the hotel or even a goodnight emoticon when he gets into bed, no matter the time difference. These are methods that you can put in place today to lessen the worrying that you’re experiencing. Besides, you should take solace in the fact that “absence can make the heart grow fonder,” too.

Additionally, in order to stop your constant worrying, it’s important to have faith in your partner, your relationship and yourself. Stop fixating on “what if” and focus on “what is.” Don’t let your own insecurities be the downfall of your relationship by living in a constant state of panic. Being a nervous wreck is only going to wreck your relationship.

What worrisome issues cannot be changed? It’s important to keep in mind that there will also be causes on your list that you can’t fix. Perhaps you’re anxious about the seriousness of your relationship. Or maybe you get nervous every time your partner texts a friend of the opposite sex.
If the types of concerns that are causing you to worry are ones that you’re going to have to learn to live with, the best course of action is to communicate with your partner and discuss what’s bothering you. By being honest, you and your partner can tackle these concerns head on, and you can begin to move forward and take charge of your feelings once their direct cause is out in the open.

By expressing what’s worrying you, you’re actually increasing the trust between the two of you, and you can start managing your worrying so that it doesn’t control your life. If you let the worrying keep building up inside of you without ever voicing your concerns to your partner, then you’ll really have something to worry about.

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Love Magazine: Why Worrying Is Harmful to Your Relationship
Why Worrying Is Harmful to Your Relationship
Love Magazine
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