Whether your relationship is brand new or has been going on for
months or even years, there are certain actions that you may be taking
that are actually harming your connection, whether you realize it or
not.
In order to prevent relationship sabotage, it’s important to
recognize the five behaviors that cause harm. That way, you can take the
necessary steps to nip these bad behaviors in the bud and keep your
relationship blossoming.
Expecting it not to last.
If you’re looking at your relationship under the lens that it’s not
going to be long term or that it doesn’t have a future or the potential
to lead to something serious, guess what—that’s probably what’s going to
happen. When you set up these kinds of negative expectations, your
actions will actually reflect this particular outcome, and it will
likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, if you approach your
relationship anticipating that it will be successful, healthy and
long-lasting, the odds are definitely in your favor as your behaviors
will help shape a more positive result.
Lying to your partner. Whether it’s a white lie or something far more sinister, lying to your partner, no
matter the topic, can ruin your relationship, and in most cases sooner
rather than later. Lying about who you were with, what you were doing or
where you were at a certain time are only going to come back and bite
you. Even if you think it’s better to lie than to tell the truth, take
it from Pinocchio, it’s not. Once trust gets broken in a relationship,
it’s incredibly hard to put the pieces back together and put you and
your partner back together as well. Honesty is the best policy in a
relationship, and if you’re being dishonest, you’re honestly wrecking
the future of your relationship.
Not communicating. It’s true that two-way communication
is a key component in a healthy and happy relationship, but if you
aren’t telling your partner how you’re feeling and/or you aren’t
listening to your partner in return, you’re heading down a dangerous
path. For you and your partner to grow closer and have your relationship
flourish, you have to openly communicate
your wants, needs, thoughts and desires, as well as listen to your
partner’s concerns and feelings. Cutting off communication with your
mate is only going to cut your relationship short.
Bringing up baggage from the past.
Everyone has a relationship past, but stirring up old issues from a
previous courtship is going to send you and your partner on a one-way
trip to Splitsville. While it’s important to learn from your older
relationships in terms of how you’d like to be treated, what you’re
looking for and ways you’ve learned and grown, it’s not okay to project
these issues from the past onto your partner and bring up old wounds
from relationships gone by. When it comes to your present relationship,
use your past as a reason to be wiser, not weaker.
Not believing in yourself.
In some instances, relationships can get ruined because you don’t
believe that you deserve a healthy and happy relationship. When you lack
self-confidence and have low self-esteem,
your partner can sense it immediately. And if you’re feeling that you
don’t deserve to be loved, cared for and happy, those feelings are
likely going to manifest themselves in your behavior and are going to be
off-putting with your mate. Having confidence in yourself and what you
bring to the relationship table is an important aspect of being part of a
couple. Remember, you rock! And your partner thinks so, too.
