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Why It's Okay To Be In Love With More Than One Person


Before we delve deeper into the subject of questioning or judging whether it is okay to be in love with more than one person at a time, let us understand a simple thing. Well, what exactly is love? Out of the millions of definitions that each one of us can come up with, one that holds good in every case is the need for freedom. You must love in a way that the person you love feels free. Love is meant to heal, not leave you hurting. It is the emotional need for the other person’s well-being, so much so that it gets linked to your own well-being. But the question remains, what if we want the well-being of more than one person? What if we want more than just one person to be free—in every way? What if two people make us smile at the same time in different ways?

We embrace the idea of being with one person, partially and exclusively, because of two very important factors: firstly, romantic love requires a lot of energy and resources, and it is difficult to gather enough for more than one person. Secondly, our social structure labels this as blasphemy in most cases. Hence, we end up thinking that we are shortchanging either of them.

However, the idea that “if you truly love someone you will not be drawn to others” or there’s only one soulmate is not part of real life.Romantic love begins with attraction—not just in terms of looks, but more so in terms of characteristics of a person. It is very rare that we find that one person with every significant trait that we have always dreamt of in our partner. In cases more than one, we end up liking different set of characteristics in two people. And that’s when both the loves become complementary instead of contradictory.

In an ideal situation, love can never be once in a lifetime experience. You fall in love with different people in different ways at different stages of your life. As long as you make sure that it doesn’t emotionally torment or confuse you, you are good to go. You will go through unique experiences from both sides that come together at once. But this comes with its own unique experience again. While most of us tend to fall for more than just one person at some point in time, we get uncomfortable with the idea of sharing our partners. The idea of sexual and emotional exclusivity is far stronger when the person in question is our partner.

Such kind of emotional dissonance results in moral judgements too, which result in terms such as betrayal and adultery.

So, what do you do when you’re in love with two people? The answer is pretty much subjective. Follow your heart, but don’t neglect your head. Here, we aren’t trying to justify infidelity, but we stated a few facts to believe that you can be in love with more than one person. Love is complicated, and being in love with two people means double the complication. But then, the matters of the heart are complicated. The best thing to do would to be to step back, understand the situation and then decide where is it that you wish to commit.


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Love Magazine: Why It's Okay To Be In Love With More Than One Person
Why It's Okay To Be In Love With More Than One Person
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