It all started when this guy, Chris*, "winked" at me on Match.com.I clicked on his profile to check out his pic--gorgeous! He was tall and Italian and had dark wavy hair, the same color as mine. I liked his vibe, so I e-mailed him. He wrote back and told me that he loved my style, and we started messaging back and forth.
A few days later, Chris asked me to meet in person. He picked the venue--a cool downtown bar in New York City, where we both live--and called me on the Tuesday night before our Wednesday date to con firm. I'm not sure whether it was his sexy Italian accent or the fact that he had such great manners, but I hung up and thought Wow.
The next night, I put on my favor ite black dress and high-heeled boots and headed downtown. Chris arrived a few minutes later. He was about 40 pounds heavier than his profile picture suggested and looked about 15 years older, but I was still attracted to him. He helped me with my coat and pulled out my chair, and he moved in this smooth, confi dent way. We had a great conversa tion, and at the end of the night, he gave me a brief kiss. I was excited to see him again.
Unfortunately, I got a cold that weekend, so I couldn't see Chris right away. He sent me a ton of texts anyway, writing stuff like "Are you sure you're okay?" It was a bit much, and it made him seem a little needy, but I thought he was probably just being sweet. The next Thursday, he wrote to ask what I would think if he got his ear pierced, adding that he already had his nipples done. I was cool with it, but in retrospect, it was a weird question to ask some one you'd just met. I was finally feeling better, so we agreed to speak that weekend.
I didn't hear from Chris until 7 p.m. that Saturday, when he texted, "I got my ear pierced. BTW, I want to tell you that my Dad is living with a guy and having a sex change." I was baffled at the randomness of the text but also empathetic, so I wrote back, "Glad you feel comfortable telling me that, but it seems weird to do it over text." Then I asked what he was doing that night. He said he was busy but didn't say why--but around 9 p.m., he texted again to tell me that the reason he was busy was that he was actually on a date with a guy. "He looks like George Clooney," he typed. "U would love him!" I texted back, "WHAT?" And then, the bombshell: He wrote back that he wanted to have a sex change to become a woman. He confessed (all via text message!) that the reason he chose me on Match.com was for my style--he loved my dark hair and the way I did my makeup and was hop ing that I could help him get the same look. I felt shocked, betrayed, and angry that he'd led me on like this--I didn't join a dating site to find a style twin. So I responded, "I mean, really? REALLY?" and switched off my phone.
The next day, Chris messaged me to see if I wanted to go shopping at Gucci. Then he told me that he'd just bought a fab new pair of Louis Vuit ton heels and I could borrow them--although they were a size 11, so maybe they wouldn't fit. At this point, I was done with Chris. I blocked him from my phone and changed my e-mail address. Good luck, Chris--hope you find a new shopping buddy.
