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When you've just entered a new relationship, it's important to look out for red flags. However, one of the downsides of the commitment-phobic culture that we live in today
is that people give up on each other a little too easily. The minute
that you tell your friends one thing that the other person did wrong,
their response is, "Ditch him. He's the worst."
The reality is
that no one is perfect, and sometimes it's worth getting to know someone
a little bit and figuring out the motivation behind some of their
issues in order to figure out whether it's a deal breaker or something
you can work with. Not to mention, sometimes, opposites really do attract, and your strength can provide support for some of their weaknesses.
That
said, one Redditor recently asked people to share the red flags about
their spouses and partners that they're happy they ignored—and their
answers were very illuminating. Read on for some of the more compelling
answers.
1. Anxiety Issues
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“She’d
worry over the smallest things,” one Reddit user wrote. “Anything that
went wrong (dentist, food going off, traffic, not having enough time to
wash her hair) would send her into a panic and put her in a foul mood
that could last for hours. I’m the exact opposite. Completely laid back.
If the dentist doesn’t have good news I’ll accept it and not worry, if
food goes off I’ll pop down to the shops and grab some more and if we’re
late because of traffic that’s just how it goes. I thought her moods
would be the thing to end us, to slowly wear down my patience to a point
where I’d stop trying to comfort, reassure and calm her down. I was
wrong. Reader, I’ve never been happier. And we’re good for each other. I
can calm her down and she can make me care about things I didn’t used
to think were a big deal but ultimately are. We work so well together.”
2. An Odd Sense of Humor
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3. “He’s a Loser”
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“When
I met him, my husband had just closed his comic book store,” one Reddit
user wrote. “I had a few people who didn’t know him at all tell me that
he was a loser because he had a comic book store and that ‘type’ never
does well in life. I knew his store closed for reasons out of his
control (business partner had cancer, sold the store to pay for
treatment), and that he was seriously depressed about it. No one else
seemed to see the man I did and I felt like I was stealing him. Legit
the most generous, kindest, funniest, smartest dude I’ve ever met. I’m
glad I ignored them because I doubt I could find a better partner in
life. There’s been a lot of [stuff] thrown at us but we have navigated
it together. I love him and despite how much the rest of my life sucks,
my marriage is resilient and healthy.”
4. Mental Health Issues
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“When
I met my wife and we became more and more intimate, she opened up to me
and told me, she didn’t want to have secrets from me,” one Reddit user
wrote. “She then proceeded to tell me the story how she had spent some
time in a psychiatric clinic recently and what she had been through. I
was a little bit scared first, but she managed to convince me that she
had made a full recovery. She told me she went full jackpot with me and
risked me getting up and leaving her, but she didn’t want to build our
relationship on a lie. We have been married for 15 years now and she’s
the love of my life.”
5. Being Too Easygoing
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“I
mistook my husband’s relaxed attitude with not caring,” one Reddit user
wrote. “Nope. He really is that easy going. Now I love his even
temperament. Some times is annoying but is mostly calming.” And for
smart ways to know what messages you’re sending, check out the 30 Things
Your Body Language Says About You.
6. Not Having a Plan
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“We
are the complete opposite,” one Reddit user wrote. “I love to flit
around, not staying anywhere too long and live in the short term without
any kind of planning on impulse. She hates the idea of being without a
long term plan and knows exactly what she wants to do with the rest of
her life. She has managed to help me sort out some kind of realistic
path for the rest of my life (our lives), and I’ve managed to get her on
a rough planned tour of SE Asia (keep going till the money runs out).
We have managed to develop the parts of our personalities that made life
difficult for us, and each individually blossomed as a pair. We are
currently on our way to Malaysia, and I’ve managed to stash a ring in my
back pack. She makes me excited for the rest of my life.”
7. Age Difference
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“Both
of our families were worried the 7 year age gap would be a big hurdle
to overcome (I was 20 and she 27),” one Reddit user wrote. “11 years
together and 5 years married, it’s never been an issue!” It’s also not a
problem for these 20 Celebrity Couples with Huge Age Gaps!
8. High Stress
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“She’s
very susceptible to stress,” one Reddit user wrote. “I have a much
higher threshold and was afraid she would have a negative impact on my
ability to deal with things. Turns out that it was good for her to have
someone that stays calm in almost every situation, as it was good for me
to have someone that is not expected to act like a machine in a
stressful situation.”
9. Being Really Tidy
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“The
serial killer room,” one Reddit user wrote. “I went home with him for
the first time to a completely blank room. No personal possessions,
white bedspread, and pillows. The windows had bars on them. I gave him a
cool picture for his walls, didn’t get murdered, and been living
together two years now. He’s just tidy.”
10. Bad Parental Relationships
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“I
was always told to date a man that treats his mom right and is a
‘family man’ because I could expect him to treat me the right way,” one
Reddit user wrote. “My SO hates his mom and has always been private
about his family. We celebrate 7 years together next month, and I’ve
never regretted looking past the family thing.”
